coping

A Tribute

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This beautiful man right here is my husband.

I lost him on February 28th, 2019, a short 7 months ago.

I’m writing about him because even though I share spiritual knowledge, the human me struggles.

I have this great ability that enables me to communicate with him daily yet… it’s hard to be here without him in the physical.

I’m off balance. My safety net is gone.

Yet I understand why he had to go, and I’ve made peace with it.

Grief is a strange space to inhabit…and it’s even stranger for me because he is still with me and in a way, this feels more real than the life we had together.

But I want to make this about him because he was the kind of person I aspire to be.

Open hearted and welcoming to all that came across his path.

When he got sick, help and love poured in from so many people.

The place he worked at held fundraisers for him.

Friends sent flowers, cards, called with words of encouragement, and visited.

On his last 3 days on Earth he was the life of the party in the ICU department.

At that point he had lost half his weight, didn’t look like himself, but his personality was intact.

He made every person that visited feel at ease.

He cracked jokes, he made us all laugh.

Even though our hearts were breaking because this was indeed a tragedy, he showed us that it was ok. He was ok and at peace and we should be too.

When he took his last breath, he made sure that it was on the last note of the song “I’ve got all the time in the world”, just to let us know he was going out on his terms. His way.

His funeral was packed and a beautiful tribute.

We played his favorite music and closed with “Purple Rain” by Prince.

Even now hearing a random Prince song makes people think of him.

His place of work left his name on his office door where it will stay forever.

They also created an award in his name – a service award because he won so many of them.

A pilot for American Airlines that knew my husband donated and had my husband’s name put on the Stand up to Cancer plane that is currently flying around the states.

He was a light that shone bright and no one forgot him or the impact he made on their lives.

Once he passed, his place of work created a keepsake book where people wrote notes to the family.

Almost every note mentioned his kindness, his welcoming smile, and the way my husband touched their life.

If you are wondering what he did for a living…he sold memberships at a health club.

As one person put it “Who knew you could touch so many lives selling memberships at a gym.”

I am sharing this not to brag but to show that you can make a difference, and even a great one, not matter what you do or where you are, if you are living from the heart.

Seeing the impact he had was a bit overwhelming for me.

To me he was my husband, my best friend, my partner, and sometimes an “idiot”.

He is undoubtedly the love of my life and always will be…

Till we meet again James ♥

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